Baptism Or Thanksgiving?

This and other similar incidents have caused me over the past few years to have a deep sense of unease over a casual approach to the sacrament of baptism. Don’t get me wrong – the last thing I would ever advocate is to refuse baptism to anyone. And of course, I would never presume to judge whether or not parents and godparents are sincere in the promises they make. That really is between them and God – and whatever their response, nothing can ever take away the passionate love that God has for each and every one of them.

I do feel, however, that for some parents baptism is not really what they are asking for – but they don’t know of any alternative. They are so grateful for the little being that has come into their lives and they want to thank God. They also want to celebrate this birth with their friends and family. They want more than a civil ‘naming’ ceremony and baptism seems the only option.

For several years now the Church of England has offered a Thanksgiving service. This gives the opportunity for parents and families to express their delight and gratitude to God for the gift of their child. Instead of godparents, ‘Supporting Friends’ are chosen. These friends promise publicly to support the parents as they bring up the child, but make no other promises. During the service the name of the child is publicly announced and prayers are said for child and parents. God’s blessing is bestowed on the child who is presented with a copy of the Gospel (usually Mark or Luke). Of course, should the parents so choose, baptism may happen at a later date. (We hope it will!) In fact there are many committed Christian parents who choose this service for their children, believing that baptism should only happen when the child asks for it. Two of my own grandchildren are not baptised although they go regularly to church, pray, love to read the Bible stories, speak freely of God and know that he loves them.

Here at St George’s we’ve used the Thanksgiving service only once when a couple came to me saying that they didn’t feel able or ready to make the promises of baptism, but wanted to thank God for their little one. They were delighted with the service and I was grateful for the fact that they had thought it through so seriously.

I believe that the time has come for us to give parents the opportunity to make an informed choice over the type of service they have. We’ve produced leaflets explaining the difference between the two services and I’ll visit the parents before any date is fixed to be ready to answer any questions they may have. Of course, the final choice will remain with the parents.

Jean